It is my first year of college, everyone says I am supposed to live it up and have fun! How can I do that when it upsets you if I dance with another guy?
Im not doing it because I have feelings for the person... I just want to have fun.
You live two hours away.
When I go a party with friends, I cant just stand in a corner and watch them dance. It's not fair of you to ask me that. I am loyal and honest so me dancing with other guys should be the least of your worries.
If it hurts you that much then I will stop. But please remember that I am only being human. I just want to have fun this year... I will only be a freshman in college once. I know I chose to be tied down to you but I didn't realize it would be this hard.
Looking back on this year, I don't want to have any regrets. I want to enjoy it the best I can. Is that so bad?
I can really relate to this post. I am in the same situation, with the exception that I am the guy in the situation. Both my girlfriend and I agreed that its ok if we dance with other people. However, the root cause of this type of strife is that a girl's intentions at a dance party are often much different that a guys. This is a topic that has caused more than one argument between my girlfriend and I, but through good communication and trust, we've gotten better at seeing it on the same level. Heres the main issue:
ReplyDeleteGirls go dancing at parties to have fun. They do not need to go up to a guy and ask them to dance with them. Guys come to them. Girls don't have to put any effort in to make this happen; they just dance and its not about who they are dancing with, its just about dancing itself.
Guys have a much harder time in this situation. In most cases, guys do not just go to a dance party to dance and have fun. If they are on the dance floor, they have to do all the work to find a chick and (hopefully) make her want to dance with him. Most guys aren't going to want to have to do all that work unless they are going to "get something out of it." This makes going to dance parties less fun for guys in relationships because its simply not as easy to have fun on the dance floor.
All in all, the disparity between the reasons a girl goes to parties and the reason a guy goes to parties is what causes this conflict. As a guy, its hard to understand why your girlfriend would want to dance with other guys and have fun because its not that easy for a guy in a relationship to do. To guys, its a threat because dancing is viewed sexually (which, to be fair, is a reasonable viewpoint considering the way people dance today.) To a girl however, dancing is not usually viewed sexually, but it is just a way to have fun: no sexual intentions are there.
My best advice is sit your boyfriend down and explain and really convince him that you don't have any sexual intentions when you dance with other guys, that to girls it is merely dancing. Tell him that you would much rather dance with him than anyone else; that you feel much safer and more comfortable with him than without him. Tell him that you think about him when you are on the dance floor and wish it was him you are with. (Maybe even tell him that you only find dancing sexual when its with him.) These are all things my girlfriend said that made me feel better about it. Other than that, he will have to accept the fact that guys and girls are just different in this area. Also tell him to go out and dance with other girls because you want him to have fun and you trust him. It definitely helped me to get over this by dancing with other girls. It helps restore your manhood, and that is something very important to every guy.