Grades

I realized one day as I took a test

Even though I am honest and do my best

There are students who cheat to get ahead

Who break the rules, on morals they tread.

I wondered why this had to be

I really, really wanted to see

If it was possible for students to stop

Illegally making their way to the top.

I realized later it could never end

On grades, on numbers, our lives depend.

If we do not get that perfect score

Our future, our dreams will be no more.

Some students cannot take that chance

To them, schools become a 4-year trance.

They do what they can to make it through

If that includes cheating, its what they do.

They might not even learn a thing

But they’ll graduate with honors, proud as a king.

The other students who just did their best

Will end up average, same as the rest.

I know there is only one way for this to change

Grades must be deleted and courses rearranged.

Students must find their own will to learn

If grades are still intact, that’s the only concern. 

Unfortunately, colleges need some type of way

To recognize students, to see who can stay.

But letters and numbers to not define us

The world needs a change, in schools we need trust.

“We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”

Room Decorations

For some reason I have always decorated my room with butterflies. I can never figure out why I do it. My favorite animal is a liger... which is in no shape or form remotely similar to a butterfly.

Death

My best friends father died today. I feel at a loss of what to do... how do you comfort someone who lost a parent unexpectedly? 


"To a father, when a child dies, the future dies; to a child when a parent dies, the past dies."

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

Falls Church

Falls Church is only 2 square miles and it only has one high school with a thousand kids. Growing up in this small of a city, you really get to know a lot of people. Pretty much anywhere you go, you run the risk of seeing at least one of your friends. I loved growing up here. Although there is hardly anything to do other than go to Tyson mall a couple miles outside the city, Falls Church couldn't feel more like home. Apparently, "The Little City" (copyrighted in 2010) has the highest percentage of adults with a masters degree. Being such an educated community, the area is very safe. A twelve year old girl could walk around  the city naked at midnight and the worst that could probably happen is she would be picked up by the police and taken home. Moving to Richmond was a huge change from my safe city. Sometimes I forget where that I am in a much more dangerous city and feel safe walking across Monroe Park at night. Thankfully my friends are sane enough to keep that from continuing.
I love school, but being able to go home to Falls Church ever so often keeps me sane. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't escape back to the serenity of my city.

VCU Riot Footage

Photo Journal

For this week, I plan on keeping a journal of interesting things that happen to me each day.
Day 1:

Day 2:

Quote

"I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection."
- Brian from Family Guy


Story of my life right now :(

Worms

I am a worm digger. I dig worms for a living and I absolutely love it. All day I get to stand outside in the mud with my pick, just digging and digging for huge, juicy earthworms. I name every single one. Yesterday, I found two worms that looked like twins so I named them Fred and George. I really wanted to keep them but I knew some fisherman would probably need them more than me. 
God, I love my job. I mean, how many people get to work outside every single day with living animals?! Yes, sometimes the worms bite, but they are still precious and they never mean to hurt anyone. My dream is to one day own my own mud land so I can build a house on the property and be surrounded by lovely worms. If that dream came true I would be the happiest person alive.

College Dorms

It really sucks going from being a single child with your own bedroom and bathroom to living in a dorm. Don't get me wrong... I love most of my roommates this semester, but it still sucks. I don't understand why schools feel that students need to learn what its like to live with random strangers. Why can't everyone just have their own room? Can anyone honestly answer that question?

Just Dance

The best speech I ever heard was Ellen Degenerous's commencement speech at a Tulane University graduation. The speech was hilarious. Every other second Ellen was dropping a joke and keeping the crowed truly engaged. The speech did turn serious however, when Ellen began to talk about her girlfriends death when she was 19. You could feel the emotion in Ellen's voice and what she was saying was so meaningful the entire crowed was entranced. After sharing her life story, Ellen changed the mood back to funny and concluded with a meaningful message about staying true to who you are. Immediately following her conclusion, she proceeded to do the most Ellen-thing possible.. she danced :)

A couple different ways to eat mangos...

Whole (Like John Locke from the tv show Lost)



Cut (preferably turtle-shell style)

 with a spoon

on a stick (with or without chili powder)

In a salad

on a tart

in curry

as a popsicle 

in a smoothie or milkshake (or mango lassi)

in a parfait

directly off a tree

Or, if you are like me... anyway you can get them :)

The Last Conversation of a Miserable Relationship

Taylor: Here. I am giving you twenty dollars for dinner last night. I just want to forget about it and I can't do it if I feel like I owe you something.

Josh: I don't want your money. It was prom. My job to pay.

Taylor: Please, just take it. I'm so done. I just want you to leave me alone.

Josh: Why do you keep saying that!? I didnt do anything!

Taylor: Are you kidding me? Last night was the worst night of my life Josh! All we did was fight... and then the hotel room? Please just leave me alone!

Josh: You wanted the hotel room! You said it was your dream to go to a nice hotel after your senior prom. You're the one who started crying and asking to go home! What the fuck did I do?

Taylor: You got made at me! I was uncomfortable and you started yelling at me! Honestly Josh, these two years have been awful and you know it. I just want to be done. For good, I want this relationship over. 

Josh: Not again taylor. You break up with me every other week! You know we are going to get back together so whats the point?

Taylor: We aren't getting back together this time. Last night was just too much. I can't take anymore. Im going inside. Don't call or text me.

Josh: No Taylor wait!

Taylor: LET GO OF ME! 

Josh: NO! We are not done talking!

Taylor: Yes we are! Now let go of me. We are done!

Josh: I knew you didn't love me. I told you you would do this.

Taylor: You don't get to make me feel guilty anymore! I love you. I always will. Whether you want to believe that or not is your decision.

Josh: Taylor please! I love you, don't do this to me.

Taylor: It's too late. Goodbye Josh

In Defense of a Freshman

It is my first year of college, everyone says I am supposed to live it up and have fun! How can I do that when it upsets you if I dance with another guy?
Im not doing it because I have feelings for the person... I just want to have fun.
You live two hours away.
When I go a party with friends, I cant just stand in a corner and watch them dance. It's not fair of you to ask me that. I am loyal and honest so me dancing with other guys should be the least of your worries.
If it hurts you that much then I will stop. But please remember that I am only being human. I just want to have fun this year... I will only be a freshman in college once. I know I chose to be tied down to you but I didn't realize it would be this hard. 
Looking back on this year, I don't want to have any regrets. I want to enjoy it the best I can. Is that so bad?

"Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth"

- J.K. Rowling


This has been my favorite quote since I read it from the pages of Rowling's Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I truly believed that if everyone fully understood and appreciated this quote, the world would a much better place... especially for children.

Allergies

About a year ago, I went to an allergist to figure out what was causing my constant sneezing and sore throat. After doing allergy tests, the doctor told me I was severely allergic to the following things...
-Dogs
-Dust mites
-Cockroaches
-Mold
-Seafood
 Well, I own a dog which would explain the constant sneezing. I am now supposed to keep my distance from her as much as possible. It is so hard being greeted by the cutest animal in the world and not being able to pet her. Once, I decided I would try petting her and then take a shower immediately afterwords... didn't work. I sneezed the entire day and then proceeded to get a sore throat that stayed for the next two days. So now, my dog and I love each other from a distance. 
As for the dust mites... My allergist told me to removed all excess pillows and rugs from my room. I used to have 6 frilly pillows and a shag rug, none of which were cheap and now they are all sitting storage. 
I assumed that the cockroaches and mold wouldn't be a problem... I mean there are no cockroaches or mold in my house and its not like I eat them. Well, I was wrong. Seeing as I am now in a dorm room at college, I am told there are lots of cockroaches and tons of mold. I am supposed to be using a humidifier to keep the dead cockroach skin and mold from bothering me. I decided to not take this piece of advise. I would rather sneeze a couple times then buy a humidifier and have to clean it every other day. 
The seafood allergy wasn't a huge shock. My dad is deathly allergic to seafood. Thankfully, growing up, I stayed away from the stuff. I think the idea of seafood is disgusting. But now that I know I am allergic, and probably deathly so, I have to carry around epipens and ask every restaurant if they cook their seafood in the same place as the meat. Also, if I ever have to get surgery I have to pray that the doctors don't use iodine to clean the incision area because I will most likely have a horrible reaction to it. 
On top of all of these precautions I have to take two different allergy medications a day and do a nasal rinse. But compared to some of the allergies people have, mine are nothing. Anyone have any interesting allergies they want to share?

Loving Technology

I find it amazing how addicted I am to technology. I participated in a sociology experiment last semester where I was asked to disable my Facebook for a week. I managed to make the entire week without reactivating but in order to survive, I was constantly logging on to my boyfriend’s account.

            Yesterday, I decided I would try to go without my phone for 24 hours. Lets just say it didn’t work. About thirty minutes after I turned it off, I had to turn it back on again. I was surprised that I lasted the whole thirty minutes. My phone is not just a phone to me. I am always texting people (manly my boyfriend) to see when we can hang out. I also use it to check Facebook, the weather, my schedule, my email, the news, and to play games when I am bored. Without my phone I wouldn’t know what I am supposed to do all day. I was stupid to think I could go a whole day without it.

            Many people think that it is crazy not being able to live without technology. The way I see it, it makes my life more enjoyable. I can hang out with my friends more regularly because it’s so easy to communicate with them. I don’t think anyone should feel guilty about being hooked to his or her mobile device unless they are texting while in a situation where it would be rude... such as at dinner. What do you think? Should we be concerned about technology ruling our lives or should we embrace it?

Eight Years After September 11, 2001

I was in forth grade. After getting back to the classroom from a short recess, my friends and I immediately realized that something wasn't right. Teachers were moving quickly, back and forth from each others rooms. We were given no direction on what to do next, we weren't even told to be quiet. 
Our teacher Mr. Pitera, walked in from the classroom next door. "Hey, everybody," he said, "Lets all sit in the corner and read a story." Something was definitely wrong. It was time for math and instead we were reading Green Eggs and Ham?
We didn't even finish the story when Ms. Lewis, the teacher from the classroom next door, walked in. She walked over to Mr. Pitera, had a whispered conversation with him, then left. Immediately, he put down the book and looked at us, struggling to find the right words to explain whatever needed to be said. I don't remember the words he used. 
The date was September 11, 2001.
We were sent home early that day. My mom works at a hospital in Arlington so I left with my best friend and her grandmother. Everyone was so scared. It made me scared. I tried over and over again to call my mom but she wasn't answering. 
Our teacher had told us a plane crashed into the Pentagon... my mom worked 15 minutes away from the Pentagon. All I could think about was whether or not she was alright.
Around eight years later, I asked my mom what happened in the hospital that day. She said most people were distraught and calling whoever they could to make sure their loved ones were okay.  The whole hospital started to prepare for an large amount of patients, but they hardly got any. "Why?" I asked her, "Did the survivors go to different hospitals?" "No," she said, "There were barely any survivors."
I had never really tried to understand what happened that day. I knew there was an attack and that people died, but I never knew to what extent. 
After talking to my mom and hearing her say that "there were barely any survivors," I decided to watch a documentary about the attack. I couldn't believe what I saw. I still can't. 
That day I watched the documentary was my 9/11/2001. I cried and mourned the death of the innocent people killed, I just did it eight years later.
Hearing my mom give me a short summary of what happened in the hospital that day changed me. Her version of the story opened my eyes and made me more mature. Learning different points of view of historic events is the only way to really understand what happened. I don't pretend to fully understand 9/11, but the view of a 50-year-old helped me understand so much more that the view of a nine-year-old.

A View Through Shades

June. Here in this grey, bare classroom
I stare at a baby girl in my fathers arms.
Looking proud, he wears orangerimmed sunglasses
while his baby, looking confused
wears yellowrimmed ones.


In his bright blue shirt, he sits
on a red brick wall surrounded by grass.
He holds that baby tight
for fear she might slip.
Such a change from the man he is now


But through the pride, you can see the immaturity,
the thoughts running through his mind. 
Asking how much longer. Dad, I miss you.
I miss the part of you who cared, 
but who am I to talk, I run away too?

My Favorite Hospital

                     Everything can change in an instant. One moment the floor is spattered with blood, another moment it’s sparkling clean. It is like jumping into a huge vat of water... In an instant, the volume of sound can change from being so high that you cant think to becoming nonexistent. Occasionally people are crying, but most of the time people are just waiting, quietly. The quiet is always the most frustrating. It decreases patience and faith. It doesn’t last forever though. Once you get through the waiting room, the atmosphere changes dramatically. The hallways are wide enough to fit two gurneys side-by-side and then a couple of nurses with IV hangers. But even with all the space there never seems to be enough room. Someone is always crossing the hallway covered in bandages, not knowing where they are going. It seems that sick people like to take their time while walking. They never notice the nurse carrying a couple bags of O-negative blood, in a rush to save a patient. Apparently all sick people have time to think about is their own pain. In the end, five nurses have to slow down their typically brisk pace to let the old man, in a half-open hospital gown, cut in front of them to use the bathroom.

The hallways are always painted a soft, yet cold color. Sometimes they are Carolina blue or light olive green but never red.  Apparently red walls make people think of blood or death and hospitals typically like a calm atmosphere. The tiles on the floor match the walls. So do curtains and the counter behind the nurse’s station.  Everywhere. It all matches. Even the nurses wear matching scrubs. It is one way for patients to see that everything and everyone is one their side. Although it is supposed to create a feeling of security, the matching also generates a feeling of chaos. In a way, the synchronization helps to exaggerate an emergency. Its like seeing cranberry juice spilled in a completely white room. The contrast is significant.

People fear hospitals because of the death. Superstitions travel around saying that death comes in sevens and threes. Hospitals are sometimes avoided all together because of these silly superstitions. What people don’t realize is that although death does occur, so does new life. 3-West is the wing in Virginia Hospital Center that’s brings the most joy and happiness to families. You always feel safe as you walk out of the elevator on to the third floor. The first thing you see is a door, light brown, big enough to fit a pregnant lady on a stretcher, holding her husbands hand. Right behind the door is the first nurse’s desk. No matter what, at least one nurse will always look up to see who is entering or leaving the wing. Surveillance cameras are positioned at every angle in front of the door. Expecting mothers always feel safe by the fact that their soon-to-be-child would be very hard to kidnap from this secured department. The main color is pink, which is intended to sooth mothers. The farther down the hallway you go, the more intense the pink becomes, and the louder the shouting and screams. The hospital staff most likely decided that in the farther back sections of 3 west, aka labor and delivery, people would need to be more calm than in the post and pre deliver section. Lining the walls are pictures of animals, always a mother with her baby. When you enter a delivery or post-delivery room, containers are sitting, waiting, filled with diapers and wipes. This area is what makes a hospital special. The bonds that are created in these rooms last lifetimes, if not more. The pale colors and sparkling clean floors, although symbolic, are only the first and most simplistic part of a patient’s journey. In the end however, these details will shape their memories and change lives.

Practical

Ken Steele believes thats students entering college can be sorted into four categories--a scholar, a careerist, conflicted, or a dreamer. I don't believe this to be true. Every other day I am in a different category. It all depends on the classes I have that day and whether its a weekday or a weekend. I know what I want to do in life. I am in school to get my nursing degree so I can eventually become a nurse practitioner in labor and delivery. Does that make me a careerist? Steele would probably say yes. But then, what if I mentioned how I want to learn as much as possible about babies and the human body. I want to go grad school so I can add that "practitioner" part to my career... Am I now a scholar? And what about the fact that I would rather be learning rather than working? Now am I a drifter? Last but not least, if I don't get into nursing school I am not sure what I am going to do. Conflicted?

There are so many different reasons for why I am student, I do not believe that I can be sorted into one of Steele's categories. Therefore I am creating my own... practical. I am doing what is best for me at this moment in time. I am the most "practical" combination of all of Steele's categories because, in the end, it will make me successful. I have an career goal yet I am eager to learn. I am also enjoying myself here at college because right now because it is more exciting than working. I am practical.

Who knew of Hulu?

Hulu. 

The reason for my procrastination but also relaxation. 

Every single day I watch at least one show on Hulu. In my eyes, and probably in yours, I am become a bit pathetic. When i finish one series I start another. If I cannot find new series, I re-watch a series. I no longer find the need to watch shows on TV because I can just snuggle up in my cosy bed with my laptop. I have become a television show fiend. 

So, for your enjoyment (or you may not enjoy this at all), I have created a list of all the televisions shows (whether on Hulu or not) that I watch, or have watched, in the past year. 

Lost (every season)

Glee (every season)

Gossip Girl (every season)

Grey's Anatomy (every seasons at least twice)

Private Practice (every season)

American Idol

SNL

The Bachelorette

The Bachelor

The Office

Family Guy

The Simpsons

21 Jump Street

Heroes (every season)

House (every season)

Boston Med

The Hills (every season)

The City (every season) 

The OC (every season)

Make It or Break It (every season)

Trauma (every season)

Weeds

Keeping Up with the Kardashians (every season)

Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami (every season)

Jon & Kate Plus Eight (every season)

Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane (every season)

Arrested Development

LA Ink

Dr. 90210 

Jersey Shore (every season)

Laguna Beach (every season)

Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. If you have any show recommendations, i would of course be glad to hear them. Unfortunately for my school work, I am always searching for another TV show.

My Bucket List

"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once."


-Lillian Dickson


Here is a list of the things I want to do before i die...


30. Write a fiction book
29. Become a regular blood donor 
28. Become completely comfortable with my appearance
27. Have my dream wedding with my perfect guy (so cliche i know)
26. Drive (or buy) an Aston Martin
25. Figure out what I can do to help prevent child abuse and do it
24. Go to the olympics. The sports I would most want to see are speed skating, figure skating, and gymnastics.
23. Be a disney princess at Disney World for a day
22. Swim with sea turtles 
21. Have babies and adopt a child
20. Meet Johnny Depp
19. Learn to cook something other than Jell-o and mac and cheese 
18. Pet a liger
17. Adopt a cat and learn to not be scared of it
16. Go to the Ellen Degenerous show!
15. Make enough money to send my mom on a trip around the world, and buy her her dream house in attempt to repay her for everything she has done for me.
14. Visit New Zealand where they filmed scenes from The Lord of the Rings
13. Pick a mango off of a tree in Trinidad and eat it immediately 
12. Go to Trinidad
11. Visit the 20 states in the United States of America that I have not yet been to. 
10. See Idina Menzel on broadway. Preferably in Wicked or Rent but any broadway play would do. 
9. Spend an entire day in a movie theater
8. Wear raspberry colored scubs to work 
7. Pick up piano lessons. I played for a year in 5th grade and then dropped it. According to anyone who hears me play, I have a natural talent for the instrument. 
6. Wear a Vera Wang dress to my wedding 
5. Stop eating frosted flakes for breakfast
4. Visit africa to see safari animals in there natural habitat
3. Be in a movie, whether an important part or an extra
2. Learn Dutch
1. Become a midwife so I can deliver babies